I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
