Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
