Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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