I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
