I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize