Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
