Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
