Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just cut my nipple shaving
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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