Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i now understand why vodka
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
