need another drink. this is the easiest way
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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