what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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