hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
