fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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