I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
