need another drink. this is the easiest way
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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