They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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