Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
