I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
