i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
