OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
someone owes me an orgasm
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
