Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
