I wish my penis had an off switch
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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