dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
