The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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