lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
