Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
