Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
