doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
