dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
