Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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