The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
