Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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