Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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