I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
what day is it and did you see me today?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
