Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
