I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
