Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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