Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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