Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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