Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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