wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
