He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Let's get the cat blown out
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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