i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
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