i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
