In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
