I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
