going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
