he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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