But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
