I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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